By Lin Kerns of Canis Lupus 101 Blog Spot

How to slander wolves even further than they already are (or hey CHEEZburger, what’s up?)

Last night, during a final check of my email before bedtime, I saw my usual subscription to CHEEZburger pop up in the inbox. I thought, nice… something sweet to see before I go to sleep. Imagine my shock when I happened to see a completely, unfunny twist on, of all things, an animal. Aren’t these the people making money by promoting the goodness of our furry, feathered, finny, and scaley relatives? Not exactly and not anymore.

So there is a new “species” making the headlines these days: the coywolf. I have even relayed such news. However, I have left the audience to their own intelligence and not tried to insult them or their sensibilities. This article, reprinted in part by CHEEZburger, contains a rather exciteable degree of discovery on this hybrid that now “number in the millions.” That’s a scary way of saying that no one really knows how many there are out there. Also, surely you have noticed that while a species may be a “man made” term, your name is a term used for what you are called. I’m still not sure what that was all about. This is the usual expanse of consciousness on an otherwise item left in the lap of real science.

But what is so bad, so vastly horrific, is that the author makes out coywolves to be “super fast killing machines.” Not animals seeking to survive by living on the refuse of human populations, living,  hidden away from people, as much as possible due to an innate lack of trust-no, these are animals that will come for your children and whisk them away in the middle of the night never to be seen again! Yes, that’s what was stated.

Wolves don’t do that to children and the people who believe such nonsense are an ignorant, superstitious lot. Certainly coyotes don’t do that; everytime I’m out in a field and see one, the critter always runs away. And your dog? Well, really? However, supposedly this super concentrated blend of genetic material recombines into some super powered spidey juice that conforms a hybrid animal into one bad ass mofo you wouldn’t want to see in a dark alley, much less in your own backyard!

How does that happen? It doesn’t. And if you wish to believe in such tripe, then I’ve got a few websites for you to visit, like “Queen Elizabeth raised an alien baby” or “Peter Pan, still young, is alive on the island of Bali.” No one in the scientific community can, so far, agree that this is even a new species or simply a hybrid (which I suspect it is). But if coyote DNA is dominant, which I agree that it is, then wouldn’t the hybrid find the characteristics of said coyote to be dominant, as well?

Let’s get back to wolves… because the coy-hybrid has wolf DNA within each cell of its body, now they are further reckoned to be fond of humans as food? Since when? The Middle Ages when, let’s face it, science didn’t exist at all, but old wives’ tales during long winter nights took precedence? But to FURTHER perpetuate a myth by, of all groups, CHEEZburger, is an outright betrayal of everything they’ve ever stood for.

Is CHEEZburger only about the hamster, the rabbit, the kitten, and the puppy? Are you only worthy of defence if you are merely soft, cute, cuddly, and/or photogenic? Does any creature who belongs to a list of predators is seen as inconsequential? I don’t think that’s so, because I’ve seen support on this particular website for lions, leopards, and tigers. What gives then that wolves are targeted? And why with such vehemence?

I, along with many other good folks and organizations spend a majority of our time trying to save wolves from dying out on a planet riddled with greedy politicians, Big Oil and Mining puppeteering ranchers, and Billy Bob Redneck who just wants to shoot and kill theem. And we certainly don’t appreciate having our work undermined by a web page supposedly devoted to animals. We need help, CHEEZburger, and not some sarcastic piece of tripe that will further aid those aforementioned non-wolf people.

What I’m asking you all to do, if you are still with me and you believe that what you see below is offensive, is to go to the link marked SOURCE  and write a comment. If you love wolves, and I know you do, then please take a minute of your time and make your voice heard. And if CHEEZburger does not respond or apologize, then unsubscribe them. Thanks for reading and howl on, my wolf pack. Howl out LOUD.

Best to all,
Lin